Navasi Devi Dasi

Manasvi

2009-02-24T09:38:00.000-08:00

Śrī Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura sings:

ei chaya gosāñi yāra, mui tāra dāsa

tāń' sabāra pada-reṇu mora pañca-grāsa

"I am the servant of the six Gosvāmīs, and the dust of their lotus feet provides my five kinds of food." A Vaiṣṇava always desires the dust of the lotus feet of previous ācāryas and Vaiṣṇavas. Vṛtrāsura was certain that he would be killed in the battle with Indra, because this was the desire of Lord Viṣṇu. He was prepared for death because he knew that after his death he was destined to return home, back to Godhead. This is a great destination, and it is achieved by the grace of a Vaiṣṇava. Chāḍiyā vaiṣṇava-sevā nistāra pāyeche kebā: no one has ever gone back to Godhead without being favored by a Vaiṣṇava. In this verse, therefore, we find the words manasvināḿ pāda-rajaḥ prapatsye: "I shall receive the dust of the lotus feet of great devotees." The word manasvinām refers to great devotees who always think of Kṛṣṇa. They are always peaceful, thinking of Kṛṣṇa, and therefore they are called dhīra. The best example of such a devotee is Nārada Muni. If one receives the dust of the lotus feet of a manasvī, a great devotee, he certainly returns home, back to Godhead.

Srila Prabhupada, purport to Srimad Bhagavatam, 6.11.18

Srila Prabhupada is my manasvi, great devotee, pure devotee. I keep myself very close to him. This is my only safety, my only shelter, my only refuge, my only hope.

Photo courtesy of The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust International, Inc.
www.krishna.com. Used with permission.

Karma Gods?

2009-02-18T20:25:00.000-08:00

I don't know when Karma took over.

It seems to me that it's Krishna who's running my life. I don't have any karma.

I hear a lot about it though, even from devotees.

What? I thought you surrendered to Krishna? If you put your life in His hands, then what's all this about karma?

When did Karma become God? Last time I checked, Krishna was in charge.........

Good karma, bad karma, mixed karma, seed karma, left over karma, un-accrued karma, whatever......
What difference does it make?
Whatever happens in the life of a devotee is Krishna, guiding that devotee closer to Him.

Krishna takes special charge of the lives of His devotees. If you have or had karma, He's using it as a way to get you closer to Him, so it's all good.
There is no such thing as bad karma. There is no good karma either.

There is only Krishna, and our relationship with Krishna.

Hiranyakasipu was torn to shreds by Nrisimhadeva. Was that because he had a lot of bad karma? No, that was the best fortune possible, to be touched by the hands of Lord Nrisimhadeva....... and he was a demon. Well, actually, he was a devotee who wanted to have that relationship with Krishna.

So, well........ here, you want to think about something dramatic? Okay, so you get torn to shreds. It's Krishna doing it.........

Where is there karma in that? It's Krishna.

Maybe karma is your God, but it's not mine. I don't have any karma. If something happens that brings me closer to Krishna, then it's good. If it brings me further away from Krishna, then it's bad. It makes no difference whether that thing "looks" good materially, or "looks" bad materially.

Whatever it takes, to bring me closer to Krishna. It's only that. Krishna is in charge of my life, not karma.

Karma is not my God.

Conversational Exchange Rates

2009-02-18T06:16:00.000-08:00

~

My words pass
like ships in the night
with yours, with everyone else's

We say things, type them
then
assign meaning

The essence, undisturbed,
a cocoon within
never unraveled

There is no hearing
only translators
who sit behind desks
blind, deaf, dumb

This letter, with that, spells:
a word.

Word: \werd\ n: a concept derived from old thought patterns, generally known to create some mental image.

These things are not real
We are all dreaming,
lost in thought worlds of our own creation

The reality that is true understanding eludes -
is gone - untouched

Like ships in the night.

Navasi devi dasi 5/18/2009
*

Reaching Beyond Reason

2009-02-09T19:53:00.000-08:00

~

Like a slave to my body
this depression sinks
into my mind -
I am weeping.

The mysteries I want
that I try so hard
that I'm seeking.......

Seem so simple, yet complex
like a random puzzle
veiled by a cloak
no one can conjure

This perplexes and surrounds
what I would have done
and so remains only
shreds of a shroud
still uncovered

Of course the veil of the worlds
would not come undone
just by my wanting

Still there must be
some secret key
that I am longing
to be yet discovered

Why must it be so closely
guarded
to those who would wish
to transcend this
bottomless well of grounded
existence?

I suppose it obviously
right
that it be earned
purchased, again and again
by the fire of determined
effort, perseverance, sacrifice

Like fire on the altar
forbearing even life after life

It is easy to pray
and grace, by the Lord is
surely given

Still, it is desire,
stronger than will -
more potent than wish, hope, want
desire beyond meaning
beyond scope, beyond reason

One - pointed - narrow - focus
broad enough in spectrum
to find a realm beyond -
and to live - to live inside it.

Navasi devi dasi
5/9/2009

~

Thoughts On Anger

2009-01-31T11:13:00.000-08:00

We all get angry to some degree over things from time to time, so it's something everyone has to deal with.
This request for help about it was posted in my public quest book on connect, so I feel sure the devotee who posted it wouldn't mind if I put it here, along with my reply, since it's public anyway.

Tigers and their cubs, cats and their kittens....... Us in the hands of Krishna.

~

Hare Krishna!
Hw is ur devotional service goin on , Mataji?
Nw from past 2 to 3months i am not able to control my anger. Its going beyond my control and i don't no what do. I make up my mind everyday to control myself but its in vein. I am hurting my family and hurting my self also. Please guide me

ABHISHEK

~ ~ ~

Dear Abhishek,

Anger comes from attachment. When you don't really understand, realize, that Krishna is in control of everything, then you get attached to things, and when they aren't the way you want them to be, you get angry.

I don't get angry because I understand that "not a blade of grass moves without the will of the Supreme".

So, nothing can make you angry when you see that. Well, we might feel some emotion, that is only natural as long as you are not a pure devotee, you might become affected a little, but as far as anger that is "out of control" you only need to realize that Krishna is directing all things. Every single thing. He is in charge, He is very very powerful and things are always going according to His plans.

Try to read some of the sections of scripture that relate to this. Try to meditate on this all the time. Think to yourself when something occurs that makes you angry "well, see here, this is Krishna arranging this to occur in my life"....... In the life of a devotee, it is always Krishna, guiding you and purifying you and accomplishing His plans through and for you.

Krishna only wants the best for us, so there is nothing to be angry about.

There is a devotee on connect who used for his profile photo a picture of a mother Tiger carrying her baby kitten in her mouth. You know how cats do that? They pick up their young cubs by the scruff of the neck and carry them to safety that way, and remove them from danger.

So, we are the kittens (or cubs) in the mouth of "mother tiger" - Krishna.

So, being angry is like the little kitten fighting and hissing as mother tiger carries it to safety. Of course interestingly enough, if you pick a baby tiger cub up by it's scruff that way, it cannot act angry or hiss, it becomes helpless. As humans, Krishna gives us free will, so we are able to be angry and hiss even though He is doing things for our benefit. But if we understand it's Him, and He is only protecting us, and purifying us, and guiding us, then we will be less angry.

Nice to hear from you again.

Hare Krishna,
Navasi

*

We Are All Dying For What We Believe In

2009-01-22T06:53:00.000-08:00

One of the first times I talked to Steve, he said something about how you have to admire the terrorists just for being willing to die for what they believe.

I didn't agree with him, and though I didn't mention it that time, the next time I saw him it was still on my mind.

"I don't admire the terrorists for being willing to die for what they believe. I can't admire them for being willing to die for what they believe, since what they believe is not admirable" I said. "Furthermore, there are people here, even in this town, who are willing to die for what they believe every single day. The policeman who gets up and goes out, every day, he could die that day, for what he believes, the military too" I told him.

That was a long time ago, and the one thing we did agree on is that to really live, you have to be willing to die for what you believe in.

He mentioned it recently again "well, you have to be willing to die for what you believe in"........ I think I laughed at this point, since it was something that didn't frighten me or upset me anymore. It's been on my mind a lot recently though.

The reason I've been thinking about it so much is because, really, every single one of us is dying for what we believe in. Some people might not realize that, but it's true.

Even a person who has "no belief", that is a belief in itself.

Every day we live, everything we do, is one day of our life, used and gone, and one day closer to dying. Whatever it is that we believe in and live for, that is what we are busy dying for.

Sometimes it is obvious, like with a policeman on duty, for example. Other times, it could go un-noticed. Regardless, in living, we are dying. Living for what we believe, no matter what that is, is actually dying for what we believe.

We Are All Dying For What We Believe In

Being aware of that at least gives us the chance to identify those beliefs are realize that we are in fact dying for them.

*Steve is false name used to protect the privacy of the individual in this conversation.

*

Chanting & Spiritual Realization

2009-01-18T06:43:00.000-08:00

Dear ~

That's very good that you will read Srimad Bhagavatam from the beginning now. As you know, that is the way it has to be read in order to be understood.

It's also necessary to chant the maha mantra in order to understand it, even while reading it from the beginning. Like we were discussing before, we cannot understand Krishna with our minds. It is not possible. It is Him, revealing Himself to us that allows us to understand spiritual topics (which are Krishna).

So, even reading the Srimad Bhagavatam, it becomes essential for you to chant serious japa in order for the words you read and the meaning behind them to become understood in truth, and on the level of your soul (i.e. realized, which is different from mental comprehension, very, very different). These seem like mysteries I know, or maybe not to you. So many people think that they can read and understand scripture with only their minds, simply by acquiring words, but it is not possible.

There are many who have acquired all the words and can quote them well, but the realization of their meaning, it's not there, and so confusion continues.

That's why the chanting is so very essential.

I know you said you are trying, and you see that your mind tricks you. I am writing this as an encouragement, to continue to make the serious effort, and to remind you of the importance. Our minds do trick us, that is the business of the mind and the senses, to trick us from actually becoming closer to Krishna. Maya Devi, she is there, and uses our weakness, our weak minds and senses, to keep us distracted and away from Krishna. That is her service to Him.

So, the way to get control of our minds, that happens by chanting. We engage our minds in the service of the Lord, and Hrisikesha (Krishna, controller of the senses) then controls them, rather than Maya devi. There are many ways to engage the senses and mind in the service of the Lord, of course, and you are aware of that.

However, in this age, the most potent form is chanting the maha mantra. The more you do that, the more control you will have over your mind, and then your intelligence will direct you (with Krishna's direction).

Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare
Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare

You can (and I do) pray always for help with this. Pray to Lord Chaitanya, to please help you chant the maha mantra seriously.

I hope you are doing well today (by that I mean spiritually, since that is what matters most)

Hare Krishna.

Navasi

*

Softly Chanting, Krishna's Name

2009-01-13T07:02:00.001-08:00

Softly, I'm chanting, Krishna's name.

I think to myself: "this morning I am approaching Krishna softly".

I haven't tried to chant softly, it's only that it's coming out this way. Softly, chanting. I am approaching Krishna in a soft, gentle way this morning.

There are so many moods. Here, in this morning, in my relationship with Krishna, I am approaching Him softly, gently; submissive, peaceful, quiet. Krishna allows me to approach Him through His holy name.

It's very cold, this early morning hour. I step outside and look up at the sky. Bright, the moon is just past full and washes the landscape in a quiet sea of soft colors; grays, and very pale blues. The trees, bare this time of year, like sentinels, standing guard, always, standing.

Somewhere, far away, there are dogs howling. I hear them, thinking: "they cannot chant, they can only cry". Across the street, and all around me, people in their houses, sleeping. They could chant, their mouths could make the sound, unlike the dogs, but they don't want to.

Quietly, softly, I am approaching Krishna, in service, to His holy name. Chanting, softly.

This is the gift.
This is the treasure.
This is the miracle.
This is the wonder.
This is the beauty.
This is the mystery.

This chanting of Krishna's name. This early-morning blessing. This maha-mantra, these words, this sound incarnation of Krishna.

Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare
Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare

We are so fortunate.

*

Artwork courtesy of The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust
International, Inc. www.krishna.com. Used with permission.

"I Can Do All Things......"

2009-01-12T07:46:00.000-08:00

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"

I read that just now on a cross-stitch kit in a needlework catalog I was looking at.

I remember my Grandmother used to say this, all the time, only in a slightly different way:

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".

Reading it this morning, as I feel overwhelmed by the tasks that I am faced with about the future, this is a strong and helpful reminder.

This came up just last month, in fact. I had a project that I had to accomplish, and I saw no possible way to get it started, what to speak of completed. It really seemed impossible.

I had to do it, and I saw no way I could, so I asked Krishna to please help me do it. Almost, literally to move me, do it "for me", "through me". I was asking this way, for His help, and then, suddenly, I was just able to do the whole thing.

It had seemed so impossible and I felt entirely helpless to accomplish it, any of it. So, I asked for help this way, and truly, it was like magic. I just did it, I got through all of it, easily, effortlessly. I felt entirely guided through it all, as if it was not even me doing it really. My hands moved, my body did things, my mind thought things, but I was not alone at all, it was not "me" who did it. It didn't even feel like a chore and I experienced none of the indecisiveness that I often do with projects of that kind.

I find it hard to ask Krishna for help that way, or to remember to ask for help, or to feel it's alright to ask for help (to that degree) with these day-to-day realities of life.

Sometimes though, there is no other way, and though I don't want to "bother" Krishna with my problems, it seems that He is ever-willing and ready to help.

It's hard to find the balance between "What can God do for me" and "What can I do for God".

It's personal. A relationship. Krishna is God, yes, but He is also our dear-most friend and well-wisher.

He is the strength in everything. The force, the power, the knowledge, the ability.

So, now, I'm asking for His help, and knowing that I can only do things with His help.

All Things. Whatever things I need to do.

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."

Hare Krishna.

Lord Varaha

2009-01-06T13:19:00.000-08:00

brahmovāca

yatrodyataḥ kṣiti-taloddharaṇāya bibhrat

krauḍīḿ tanuḿ sakala-yajña-mayīm anantaḥ

antar-mahārṇava upāgatam ādi-daityaḿ

taḿ daḿṣṭrayādrim iva vajra-dharo dadāra

SYNONYMS

brahmā uvāca — Lord Brahmā said; yatra — at that time (when); udyataḥ — attempted; kṣiti-tala — the planet earth; uddharaṇāya — for the matter of lifting; bibhrat — assumed; krauḍīm — pastimes; tanum — form; sakala — total; yajña-mayīm — all-inclusive sacrifices; anantaḥ — the Unlimited; antar — within the universe; mahā-arṇave — the great Garbha Ocean; upāgatam — having arrived at; ādi — the first; daityam — demon; tam — him; daḿṣṭrayā — by the tusk; adrim — the flying mountains; iva — like; vajra-dharaḥ — the controller of the thunderbolts; dadāra — pierced.

TRANSLATION

Lord Brahmā said: When the unlimitedly powerful Lord assumed the form of a boar as a pastime, just to lift the planet earth, which was drowned in the great ocean of the universe called the Garbhodaka, the first demon [Hiraṇyākṣa] appeared, and the Lord pierced him with His tusk.

PURPORT

Since the beginning of creation, the demons and the demigods, or the Vaiṣṇavas, are always the two classes of living beings to dominate the planets of the universes. Lord Brahmā is the first demigod, and Hiraṇyākṣa is the first demon in this universe. Only under certain conditions do the planets float as weightless balls in the air, and as soon as these conditions are disturbed, the planets may fall down in the Garbhodaka Ocean, which covers half the universe. The other half is the spherical dome within which the innumerable planetary systems exist. The floating of the planets in the weightless air is due to the inner constitution of the globes, and the modernized drilling of the earth to exploit oil from within is a sort of disturbance by the modern demons and can result in a greatly harmful reaction to the floating condition of the earth. A similar disturbance was created formerly by the demons headed by Hiraṇyākṣa (the great exploiter of the gold rush), and the earth was detached from its weightless condition and fell down into the Garbhodaka Ocean. The Lord, as maintainer of the whole creation of the material world, therefore assumed the gigantic form of a boar with a proportionate snout and picked up the earth from within the water of Garbhodaka. Śrī Jayadeva Gosvāmī, the great Vaiṣṇava poet, sang as follows:

vasati daśana-śikhare dharaṇī tava lagnā

śaśini kalańka-kaleva nimagnā

keśava dhṛta-śūkara-rūpa

jaya jagadīśa hare

"O Keśava! O Supreme Lord who have assumed the form of a boar! O Lord! The planet earth rested on Your tusks, and it appeared like the moon engraved with spots."

Such is the symptom of an incarnation of the Lord. The incarnation of the Lord is not the concocted idea of fanciful men who create an incarnation out of imagination. The incarnation of the Lord appears under certain extraordinary circumstances like the above-mentioned occasion, and the incarnation performs a task which is not even imaginable by the tiny brain of mankind. The modern creators of the many cheap incarnations may take note of the factual incarnation of God as the gigantic boar with a suitable snout to carry the planet earth.

When the Lord appeared to pick up the earth, the demon of the name Hiraṇyākṣa tried to create a disturbance in the methodical functions of the Lord, and therefore he was killed by being pierced by the Lord's tusk. According to Śrīla Jīva Gosvāmī, the demon Hiraṇyākṣa was killed by the hand of the Lord. Therefore his version is that after being killed by the hand of the Lord, the demon was pierced by the tusk. Śrīla Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura confirms this version.

Srimad Bhagavatam, 2.7.1

Artwork courtesy of The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust International, Inc. 
www.krishna.com. Used with permission.

Life Changes

2009-01-05T04:50:00.000-08:00

My life has just changed entirely.

Of course, the moment when we see the change, is only that - when it finally becomes so obvious - we can see it.

Change itself happens all along the way. The little moments, the ever-moving, shifting current of life. The small choices of day to day living.

They are the change.

Krishna, the All-Powerful One. The force and guiding hand behind all of it, everything.

Swiftly or slowly, the changes and currents take shape, creating the form we can finally recognize and say:

My Life Has Changed.

~ Talk About Love ~

There is no greater love than Krishna.

Everything about Him, everything of His, is lovable too, just like He is.

*

God Is God

2008-12-27T06:52:00.001-08:00

"Just like in India, during the British days, there were Hindu-Moslem riots, and the Hindus would go to the Moslem mosques and break everything, thinking, 'We have broken their God', and the Moslems would go to the Hindu temples and break the idol, thinking, 'We have killed the Hindu God.'

This is foolishness.

Also, during Gandhi's noncooperation movement, people rioted and broke anything belonging to the government, especially the post boxes on the street. They thought that by breaking them, they were destroying the post office, or the government.

This is the foolishness of the iconoclasts.

But those who have a true conception of God do not quarrel with each other.

All throughout history there is some religious fight: Hindu against Moslem, Christian against non-Christian.

God is God.

He has no material qualification. the iconographers imagine, 'God is like this or that', but the man in knowledge knows that God is one, and transcendental."
*

Srila Prabhupada talking to Hayagriva das (excerpt from the book "The Hare Krishna Explosion" by Hayagriva dasa)

Photo courtesy of The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust International, Inc.
www.krishna.com. Used with permission.”

Gentleness

2008-12-26T13:28:00.000-08:00

Some devotees are so gentle. This to me is one of the most attractive qualities. That, and kindness. These are true Vaisnava qualities.

I got the nicest letter from such a gentle and kind devotee today. It's so interesting, because I wrote to this devotee in an effort to help him with something.

His letter to me was so kind and gentle and filled with such good Vaisnava qualities that instead of me helping him, he helped me.

Just in the nature of his reply, I was reminded deeply of how Krishna takes care of His devotees, and it's not up to any individual one of us to "be responsible" for others.

I have a big problem with feeling overly responsible for others to the extent that I forget Krishna is taking care of them, and I over endeavor and end up weakening myself. Then, I am forced to reject all responsibility. I guess it's like being addicted to something, you can't "have just a little" or you have to have it all.

Maybe it comes from becoming a mother at such a young age. Really, I think it has been this way my whole life though. My childhood was one of the kind where I had to be responsible in ways that children should not have to be responsible. Being responsible for adults (as well as yourself) when you are a very young child is an insane and unstable concept. These patterns repeat and repeat. Part of the endless cycle of karma, except as a devotee, karma is not actually karma, but Krishna handling and guiding it in our lives for our purification and progress.

So, because this devotee I wrote to is sincere, Krishna was already helping him, and perhaps because I am sincere, even though my conditioning caused me to write to try to help him, Krishna used this conditioning to help me.

That's a good example of why karma is not really a factor when you are placing your life in Krishna's hands.

He takes over, He is in control.

It makes me feel such a sense of peace to know that Krishna really is in control and is taking care of everything and everyone. I forget that, yes, I know that's amazing, to think there is something I have to do or else it won't be done. But, I do think it. I'm not speaking about day to day practical things, I mean in the ultimate sense that all of us are replaceable and Krishna does not actually need anything we do, rather, He allows us to do things for our own benefit.

I remind myself often that Srila Prabhupada always said Lord Chaitanya's movement will go on, you can either be a part of it or not, but it will go on.

It helps so much to have another devotee remind me, in a gentle, kind way. Hearing it from someone else makes a big difference. (he did not say exactly that, but I understood it from what he did say)

I still have to figure out how to be part of things without my responsibility problem harming me and others, and it's not easy. I'm always praying that Krishna will help me, show me, guide me, tell me what to do.

Gentle and kind devotees are instruments for Krishna. Well, everyone is of course, everything is, but the more sincere the person, the more Krishna can work directly through them.

~

Don't Lump Me In

2008-12-24T13:43:00.000-08:00

A long time ago there was a book or article written by devotees that had a similar title: "Please Don't Lump Us In". The basic reason was because the general public was calling the Hare Krishna movement a cult and literally lumping it in with every other cult springing up across the country, and there were a lot at that time.

I think it's a great title and an even greater concept.

It's a problem that I have come across as an individual person within the larger "lump" of the society of Krishna consciousness.

Group consciousness and group acceptance is certainly good and a needed thing, but it can be carried to extremes that do not promote the growth of the individual. When individuals within a group are not personally growing, no matter how much group consciousness there is, the group gradually dies.

I personally have experienced extremes of both things, being accepted and part of the group, and being rejected and outside the group.

Being rejected by the group is a very powerful experience and something I would recommend to everyone. When you are alone and no one is paying the slightest bit of attention to what you are doing, saying, thinking, or becoming, you have to become one thing: your own person.

You find your way in the dark, so to speak, or in my case, literally. I have actually practiced literally walking alone in the dark in deserted (but sanely safe) areas, such as the long stretches of beach on the gulf coast of Florida. I have taken many other walks alone with darkness, this is just one simple example.

Being alone there, in the middle of the night, with nothing but the darkness and faced with your own limited mortality, is scorching. With that experience I also found a much greater power, the power and protection of God.

Now today, at the age of nearly 52, after having first become a devotee when I was 13 years old, I have walked many paths, and experienced many things first hand. That does not mean I don't want to learn, or feel I have nothing to learn. It does mean that I have a mind of my own and I am not inclined to argue my truth with others.

Discussion is a nice thing, and leads to growth and understanding and community. When that discussion degenerates into arguments and being forced to defend the things that I'm trying to say, that's when it has lost it's value and integrity.

Unless someone is only quoting scripture, then their "voice" is just one voice among many. My voice is only that, my voice. It is me, speaking my truth, what is true for me. Anyone is free to agree or disagree, accept or reject. That is their choice.

Having to adjust my voice, my truth, in a way that does not come naturally, because of being challenged or argued with does not promote personal growth. It does not allow for individuality. It does not allow for free will, or choice.

Individuality, free will, choice, and doing things out of the desire to do them, rather than being forced (i.e. coerced, influenced, pressured, etc.) is one of the most basic, fundamental aspects of Krishna consciousness.

I am not "one of a mass" of persons, a nameless "lump" of conglomerate experience. Nor do I wish to become one. I do not say that I represent some "final authority" on anything except my own understanding and my own experience. That is all I wish to express, or intend to express.

If I want to express pure Krishna consciousness, then I will post a quote from Srila Prabhupada, who does it perfectly.

Everything else is subjective understanding, coming from an individual: myself. It is also up to other individuals to make their own choices as to what they find meaningful. We each walk a different path in this lifetime. We are not all the same, in the same place, at the same time, needing the same things, or any other "mass consciousness" concept.

This is a text message I sent to my son today:

"This way of not allowing for individual voice, and the almost forced group consciousness is exactly what is driving me away. I have no need or desire to 'blend' into a unity that other's find acceptable. What's "acceptable" is always in flux, and I won't live my life according to someone else's social approval system".

I'm not saying this is done by everyone, everywhere within the movement, but I do see it a lot on the internet. On some websites, I see a devotee will write a certain thing, nicely, and 30 people post various "arguments" from scripture or their own understanding to contest it. It makes me sad to see that. I think to myself, well, at least let them say what they are trying to say, if you don't agree, fine, if you do, fine, but what is the point of this endless arguing about it?

None of us are "lumps" of conglomerate unity.

We can all find a thousand ways to quote scripture to prove nearly any point of view we wish to highlight.

Respect for the group starts with respect for the individuals that make up the group. Respect of the group from the outside will not happen without respect for the individuals of the group from the inside.

Note:
*Because I have been writing on Krishna.com, "connect" for the past year, I want to specify that I am not addressing any problem with the website or authorities of Krishna.com. With them, I have found acceptance and allowance for personal voice. I am talking about a general concept that is expressed by individuals, in greater or lesser degrees, depending on the individual.

~

Please Chant Hare Krishna

2008-12-22T04:14:00.000-08:00

Keep focused on your chanting of japa. No one can hope to ever think clearly about anything spiritual, or become Krishna conscious without chanting at least 16 quality rounds of japa every day. I'm sorry if that disagrees with what you believe or hear, but that is my own practical experience (from a lifetime) and also the instruction of Srila Prabhupada.

It's very easy to think that we are Krishna conscious and viewing things in spiritual ways without this, but in reality, we are not. This is our link to Srila Prabhupada, and it's also our direct association and purification from Krishna. Without that, we can read and study and think all kinds of things, but spiritual vision is a gift that comes directly from Krishna. Krishna gives us this gift when we follow the instructions of our guru, and associate directly with Krishna's holy name in the form of chanting. That is the prescription for this age. Don't allow anything or anyone, including your own mind, to cheat you out of this.

It is in fact the most beautiful, wonderful, astounding, amazing way to live even this life, what to speak of prepare you for the time of death or any future births you will take.

Please make it your life. Ultimately, no matter what I write or say, that is the only real thing there is of value, Krishna's holy name, and association with Him in the form of sound vibration. Take shelter there, place all your trust there. You will find a thousand ways to be mislead. Krishna's holy name, and following the instructions of Srila Prabhupada will never mislead you.

***

(this photo of Srila Prabhupada was taken at the Detroit temple, 1975. I am there, in the red sari in the back on the right side of the photo, following Srila Prabhupada. I pray that I always will follow Srila Prabhupada, eternally.)

Photo courtesy of The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust International, Inc. 
www.krishna.com. Used with permission.

What's Missing?

2008-12-18T06:23:00.000-08:00

I struggle all the time trying to be a devotee, and trying to please Srila Prabhupada.

The reason I struggle so much is because of mainly one thing:

I have NO Humility.

I think I am special, I think Krishna needs me, I think I please Srila Prabhupada by my life and the things I endeavor to do.

Of course, we are all special in that Krishna is so merciful that He has made arrangements for us to find our way out of our selfish existence and come back to Him.

Of course I have been given the chance to please Srila Prabhupada because he is a pure devotee and therefore has such compassion for fallen souls who are struggling, as I am. So, he has given me the chance to please him. Ways to please him.

The thing that's missing is myself. Even though Krishna gives me all this love, and help, and Srila Prabhupada gives me all this love, and help, I still don't surrender my false ego.

I still feel proud of myself for doing the most basic things that Srila Prabhupada requested of me. I still think I have pleased Srila Prabhupada.

The truth is, that if I have pleased him in any way at all, it is only because of his incredible compassion that he is so easily pleased and expects so very little. He gives everything I offer him, my efforts, my chanting, my service, everything, to Krishna for me, and asks Krishna:

'Please Krishna, she does not know how fallen she is, but she is my child, and she is trying to please me, so on my behalf, please accept her offerings.'

Krishna is always ready to reciprocate with the desires of His pure devotees. So, because of the causeless mercy of Srila Prabhupada, he finds a way to make some kind of useful thing to give to Krishna out of my useless efforts.

Without Srila Prabhupada,
I would be
without anything
and
everything.
I would
remain
nothing,
and
no where
near
Krishna.

All Glories To Srila Prabhupada.

~

Visiting The Past

2008-12-17T11:01:00.000-08:00

I don't normally read the entries from all the many journals I have kept over the years. There are just too many, and mostly, I don't have a reason to read them.

Recently though, one of my God-brothers said he thought people wanted to know more about me. I misunderstood what he meant, but while waiting for him to explain, I happened by accident, to come across this journal that only had this one entry in it. Since I was not looking for it, and it came at that time, I felt there must be a connection.

So, here's something from the past, my past, more about me, a 'slice of life'. Perhaps someone will find meaning there, for some reason. I don't always know the exact reasons for the things I write or post, on a logical level.

~ "September 3, 2004

Ah, Autumn; a melancholy season, though I love it anyway, or maybe because of - All the long, hot days of August passing at a crawl - things so dry I feel a need for constant drinks of cold, fresh water.
Waiting, I watch the sky - pale, nearly non-existent blue, flooded by the strong bright sun, it seems like an unsuccessful water color that someone put too much water on.

Looking out through the window panes above the kitchen sink, gives me the feeling of peering out of the windows of an empty house we found somewhere in the country one day.
Finding a way to get in, wandering through the rooms and imagining what it had been like to live there; what it would be like if we lived there - now.

Looking out at a perspective I've never seen, a view in someone else's mind, that person, now gone off to some other place and I, peeking, there - trying to see what they saw, a yard perhaps, it doesn't belong to me, but for a moment I pretend it is mine, and I look to see what it is that I see, they saw; we both; now sharing a vision - a reality that 'was' a life, filled with all the same fundamental yearnings and dreams of this frail species, man-kind.

Back again at my window - it looks over the back yard. The tomato plants Keshava grew this summer, staked up straight and tall, but browning now, from the bottom up. The leaves curling up into themselves despite the extra water I told Keshava he should give them. "Stake them up strongly, give them fertilizer and lots of water, maybe a shade screen too, the sun's so hot; they should be fine then, and keep growing more tomatoes even now, if you do that".

I told him that last part though I doubted it myself, just to get him to want to do everything else. I have always hated to see things die. Especially good, innocent, generous, giving things, like those tomato plants. Their whole life, germination from a tiny seed, growing, producing one heavy tomato after another, though it literally breaks them to do this, they do, even now, as they are shriveling and dying, the heavy, bright red fruits such a contrast to the plant that brought them forth.

Dying now, scorching in the mid-day sun. Of course I could not bear any of this except we offer all their fruits to Krishna, even then, it pains me to see their slow decline. Keshava tells them they are liberated now, chants to them, tells them they will be in the Spiritual World when it is time to leave their bodies, the tomato plants.

He chants to them, most likely thanks them for all the wonderful tomatoes they have given us. Tells them he thinks (or knows) that Krishna loved their tomatoes; that they have grown the most excellent, wonderful tomatoes and we all thank them.

We appreciate and love them, and pray for them, and we do, of course we do -
Keshava has never specifically said these words to me, not all of them, but I know he feels like I do, so I feel that he says this to the tomato plants. Only real difference between us being that I would try to keep them alive eternally, while he accepts and is at peace with their short, struggling life, bearing fruit only to die.
I suffer for them, he is gracious and simply thanks them in admiration.

Sometimes, my heart wants to break because of these 'day-to-day' cruelties that are everywhere you look, here, in this material world. "But we are not in the Material World" he says.
This is our Temple, this house that I have come to love so deeply. Who knew my heart could be made to ache with love, admiration, desire, need, contentment, faith, peace, joy, hope, and happiness upon turning into our driveway and viewing the reddish bricks of the walls of our home?

Nearly in tears at the site of it, our Temple, our home, our house. It has grown so much in the years we have lived here. Holding it's arms tight around us through Augusts such as the one just passed; as I stood and watched the yellow leaves float down from the Tulip tree - watched them shift from yellow to dark, brownish-yellow, then brown and curly, floating through the hot August air, spinning and drifting carelessly down in the magical movie of life that I am always watching through the panes of my kitchen-sink window.
As the days pass and the air turns cooler, daytime - a little, night-time; a little more, by degrees.

The leaves increase, more and more of them, now, as if they are hurrying just a little - Someplace to go? But now, they simply settle to the ground, some strewn across the deck, on the railings and the patio chairs; chaise lounges, filling up the seats as if to say "we're sitting out on the deck tonight" - all the people have gone in, and so they have the deck to themselves tonight, and tomorrow night, and onward, until Keshava must get out the leaf-blower and shoo them along to settle with the others who are already there, around the base of that big gorgeous Tulip tree that has lived here for so long.

It's so big that three stories up you can look out the window of my Study and see the "tulips" when they bloom right there - you could almost reach out and touch one. That tree wasn't blooming so much when we first moved here. But, it has grown also, along with us and every other living thing on this small parcel of land.

One night last week, as I was going to bed, I stopped to check the back door onto the deck, just to be sure it was locked. Keshava officially does that, because he is the man, and we are an 'old-fashioned' couple in a lot of ways. I don't expect to actually find the door un-locked, but I try it anyway, 'just to be sure'.
As I was doing my little 'checking ritual' I saw what looked like the chaise lounge chairs right outside the door - not their usual place.

I was startled by this discovery and pulled back the curtain to look out. The night was as still as a painting, nothing moved. Some of my common fantasies danced through my head - "had someone been here, using the chairs?". Images and voices and laughter filled my mind...

Mandy, her eyes dancing and sparkling as she laughed and looked at Nila Madhava. Nila, his lips pressed tightly together, a smile at each corner so strong it threatened to make it's way through whatever shield momentarily held it in check for now. His dark brown eyes, deep and somber but glinting with the lights dancing off the laughter inside him - his mind not quite as willing to 'ignore' this little bit of mischievous fun.

Anasuya, tall, young, beautiful. Sincere and earnest. Making sure everyone paid attention and gave Keshava lots of admiration for putting the entire enormous deck together all by himself.
Anasuya, I saw her smiling; always, laughing; most of the time, she made me smile just to think of her and the things she said and did. Not so much what, but how. Her way was charming.

I could hear her voice now: "guys! but isn't it amazing! Keshava did all this himself! Yes!" - Nila Madhava then "you didn't have any help, Keshava, like not even to bring the wood down?". First establishing the rare credit, and that said, along with Nila's pondering silence as his thoughts whipped through the scenario of Keshava's deck project while I looked at him, watching. I have always loved to watch Nila's mind work."

~

Feeling Love

2008-12-17T06:06:00.000-08:00

~Srila Prabhupada~

Everyone is so afraid of love.

We're afraid we will be hurt, we're afraid we won't love in the right way, or for the right reason.

If you tell someone you love them, they become suspicious.

"What does it mean, what do you expect from me?"......... Like it's an obligation and they might not want to, or be able to, meet the terms.

Love is so powerful, that of course we tend to fear it.

Love is so powerful, that we have to find a way to let it in, embrace it, appreciate it, and use our own natural propensity to love to get us to the point of loving Krishna, entirely and totally.

Loving devotees is a good place to start.

I know I have loved so many devotees in my life, so deeply, that when I think of each of them, I cry, I feel such deep love for them.

Love, admiration, respect, appreciation. Love.

No, they didn't always meet all my expectations, live up to what I wanted from them, or who I thought they were. No, they didn't always make me happy, make me feel good to be around them, they didn't even always help my spiritual life either. At least not in a way that was obvious to me at the time, but in the ultimate issue, everything that happens to us, helps us if we use it to learn what we need to learn, and make advancement.

This deep love for who they are, the devotee, struggling or strong, helpful or not, advanced or beginner, is the abiding and over-riding force in my heart, in my thoughts, in me.

It makes no difference what they are doing today, or what contact I have with them. They can be living lives totally away from the association of devotees, doing whatever they are doing, I still love them.

Why shouldn't I? They are devotees that I served Srila Prabhupada, and Krishna with, and in whatever way, whether I view it as materially negative, or positive, they helped me on my path spiritually. My path to Krishna.

I mentioned this in an earlier post here, where I posted a letter I had sent to someone who was asking me if I would have accepted Srila Prabhupada as my spiritual master if he had not had an impeccable reputation.

I had told them in a previous letter that one of the things I loved most about Srila Prabhupada was that he accepted me despite my lack of qualifications. I don't view it that "I accepted him", I view it that he accepted me.

For the sake of discussion though, I explained to this person that I did not "accept him" based on any qualification that I understood him to have, since I had no idea at that time what "qualifications" he had or didn't have.

It was mainly that I loved him. Yes, that love came from what he was teaching, writing, speaking, but really, for me, the point of surrender was when I met him. I loved him so deeply, instantly.

It's true that love means service, and we gradually learn to serve, assist, in the proper way, but just love alone is what got me, continues to get me, to the point of serving, or even desiring to serve.

Love is the most powerful force in creation.

Love is the souls natural propensity to love Krishna. It's what we are all trying to get back to, as devotees, love for Krishna.

I don't block out or fear loving other devotees. I see it as part of loving Krishna.

I would be entirely lost right now if not for the fact that I love Srila Prabhupada, and always have.

Photo courtesy of The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust International, Inc. 
www.krishna.com. Used with permission.

Krishna Attracting The Gopis

2008-12-15T03:47:00.001-08:00

Artwork courtesy of The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust International, Inc. www.krishna.com Used with permission.

The Attraction Of Krishna

2008-12-15T03:18:00.000-08:00

"Krishna is compared with the moon, born in the ocean of the womb of Devaki.

When He returns in the evening, it appears that He is fatigued, but He still tries to gladden the inhabitants of Vrindavana by His auspicious presence.

When Krishna returns, garlanded with flowers, His face looks beautiful. He walks into Vrindavana with a stride just like the elephant and slowly enters His home.

Upon His return, the men, women, and cows of Vrindavana immediately forget the scorching heat of the day."

Such descriptions of Krishna's transcendental pastimes and activities were remembered by the gopis during His absence from Vrindavana.

They give us some idea of Krishna's attraction.

Everyone and everything is attracted to Krishna - that is the perfect description of Krishna's attraction.

The example of the gopis is very instructive to persons who are trying to be absorbed in Krishna consciousness.

One can very easily associate with Krishna simply by remembering His transcendental pastimes.

Everyone has a tendency to love someone.

That Krishna should be the object of love is the central point of Krishna consciousness.

By constantly chanting the Hare Krishna mantra

and

remembering the transcendental pastimes of of Krishna,

one can be fully Krishna conscious and thus make his life sublime and fruitful."

Srila Prabhupada, "Krishna, The Supreme Personality of Godhead", chapter 34, "The Gopis' Feelings of Separation"

*

Attachment & Faith

2008-12-13T14:56:00.000-08:00

tasyaivaḿ me 'nuraktasya

praśritasya hatainasaḥ

śraddadhānasya bālasya

dāntasyānucarasya ca

SYNONYMS

tasya — his; evam — thus; me — mine; anuraktasya — attached to them; praśritasya — obediently; hata — freed from; enasaḥ — sins; śraddadhānasya — of the faithful; bālasya — of the boy; dāntasya — subjugated; anucarasya — strictly following the instructions; ca — and.

TRANSLATION

I was very much attached to those sages. I was gentle in behavior, and all my sins were eradicated in their service. In my heart I had strong faith in them. I had subjugated the senses, and I was strictly following them with body and mind.

PURPORT

These are the necessary qualifications of a prospective candidate who can expect to be elevated to the position of a pure unadulterated devotee.

Such a candidate must always seek the association of pure devotees.

One should not be misled by a pseudodevotee.

He himself must be plain and gentle to receive the instructions of such a pure devotee.

A pure devotee is a completely surrendered soul unto the Personality of Godhead.

He knows the Personality of Godhead as the supreme proprietor and all others as His servitors.

And by the association of pure devotees only, one can get rid of all sins accumulated by mundane association.

A neophyte devotee must faithfully serve the pure devotee, and he should be very much obedient and strictly follow the instructions.

These are the signs of a devotee who is determined to achieve success even in the existing duration of life.

Srimad Bhagavatam, 1.5.29

National God

2008-12-11T19:06:00.000-08:00

*

In every drop
there is an ocean
every wave
comes ashore
and returns
there's a mountain
no one can climb
and a forest
no one can see
inside
there's a lamb
coming of age
and a lion
dying to be free
the sky above us
full of clouds
reflects the pool
of beckoning
reason
searched for meaning
a treatise
for the peace
of a nation
national God
an anthem
for the world
and for all
of creation

Navasi 12/11/08

*

There Is Only ONE God

2008-12-11T01:02:00.000-08:00

One of the very early pastimes of Krishna, when He was on this planet, was the lifting of Govardhan Hill. This pastime was done for the purpose of establishing that there is not only no need of worshiping demigods, but also, that it displeases Krishna when we worship demigods.

The residents of the village Krishna lived in were accustomed to worshiping the demigod Indra every year, with a special ceremony. They thought they were dependent on Indra, because he supplied them with the much needed rain. Krishna told them to deny Indra his "due sacrifice" and instead, bring all the items of worship, and worship a hill.

The point was not to prove that a hill was more valuable than Indra, it was to show that worshiping (trying to please) a demigod, does not please Krishna, who is God. It was to show that Krishna is God, the only actual God, and that all others are subordinate to Him. Krishna clearly made that distinction.

~I am God. I am the Supreme God. Indra is under me, entrusted by me, to manage a particular area of the "universal government".~

Srila Prabhupada writes in Krishna book:

"There are thirty-three million demigods, and each of them is entrusted with a particular department of universal management."

The demigods, whether they are more significant or less significant are really only managers, department managers, for God.

This rejection by the people of Indra, of course made him very angry, and he tried very hard to destroy the residents of Vrindavan, all their cows, their village, everything. Krishna protected them, and in the end Indra came to worship Lord Krishna, bowing down before Him, and acknowledging Him as being God.

There is a big difference between being Hindu, and being Krishna conscious. Hindus recognize all the various demigods and their powers, and they worship certain demigods depending on their own preferences or needs or proclivities.

A young Hindu gentleman wrote to me once saying:

"We who are Hindu's are proud of the fact that we have the freedom to choose whatever god we like to worship, and we enjoy that individuality and freedom of choice to worship which ever god appeals to us".

I realize this is not a statement for the entire Hindu population, but that's the general difference between being Hindu, and being Krishna conscious.

Of course persons who are Krishna conscious are also informed and aware of the various demigods, but we do not worship them.

Krishna consciousness means acknowledging Krishna as the Supreme God, above all other lesser gods. We serve/worship only Krishna as God. Their are not "other gods" that we acknowledge as being somehow independent or outside of the jurisdiction of Krishna. We do not worship them, anymore than we would worship the President of The United States, just because he is a powerful representative entrusted to manage this country.

The rest of this section of Krishna book, by Srila Prabhupada:

"There are thirty-three million demigods, and each of them is entrusted with a particular department of universal management.
All the demigods took the opportunity of the Supreme Personality of Godhead's constructing a city of His own choice to present their respective gifts, making the city of Mathura unique within the universe.
This proves that there are undoubtedly innumerable demigods, but none of them are independent of Krishna.
As stated in the Caitanya-caritamrita, Krishna is the supreme master, and all others are servants.
So, all the servants took the opportunity of rendering service to Krishna when He was personally present within this universe.
This example should be followed by all, especially those who are Krishna conscious, for they should serve Krishna by their respective abilities."

~ "This example should be followed by all especially those who are Krishna conscious"~

When there is not a clear, strong distinction made between Hinduism and Krishna consciousness, people cannot see God. People cannot focus on God.

Krishna (God, the One God, that we all can love and serve and worship) is hidden amongst the pantheon of various Hindu demigods, who are in fact, just servants of the Supreme God, or:

The Only One God
*

Cultural Diversity

2008-12-09T13:27:00.000-08:00

When my niece turned 15, she was planning to have a "Sweet 16" party. She was calling it a "Sweet 15" party though, and wanted all her American relatives to attend, of course.

My niece is of American and Costa Rican descent. My older (late) brother married a woman from Costa Rica.

In Costa Rica, they don't celebrate a "Sweet 16", they celebrate "Quinceanera":

"The Quinceañera or Quince años is, in parts of Europe and the Americas, a girl's celebration of her fifteenth birthday, which is commemorated in a unique and different way from her other birthdays. It is sometimes represented "15 years." The celebration highlights God, family, friends, music, food, and dance. The celebration traditionally begins with a religious ceremony. A reception is held in the home or a banquet hall. The festivities include food and music, and in most, a choreographed waltz (Vals) or dance performed by the Quinceanera and her court."

There is a similarity of course between a Sweet 16 party, and a Quinceanera. But I was confused by it. I told her, "you're an American girl, born in American, yes, you have a Spanish heritage, but why would you want to celebrate a Spanish birthday when you are American."

I further told her, "we all have various ethnic heritages, but we are still Americans. While I appreciate cultural diversity, still, we are Americans."

Of course she was upset, my mother was upset. Apparently the most important thing was to "preserve" this poor girls Spanish ethnic heritage.

American has become a melting pot, that's for sure. We've mixed it all up so much we can't tell what's what anymore. The same girl who insists she has to have a "Sweet 15" instead of a "Sweet 16" will also be wearing American style clothes to school, have to have the latest Vera Bradley bag, is mad at her step-father because he won't allow her to spend the night at friends houses (apparently parents are strict about these things in Spanish cultures), and wants to act and behave like an American when and where it appeals to her, yet, I am supposed to understand how important it is to have a special grand party at the age of 15, instead of 16.

(of course I don't really understand special grand parties at 16 either, but that's not the point, and she isn't a devotee, so, okay)

The problem with mixing cultural heritages comes up for me in Krishna consciousness too. I see everything getting mixed with everything else.

One devotee wants to have a Christmas tree, but wants to decorate it with ornaments that are pictures of Krishna and His various incarnations. Someone else thinks it's a great idea to decorate the temple with Christmas tree lights. Or, have a Christmas tree IN the temple room!

Other devotees are working hard to bring more Indian culture into the United States, feeling that it's going to interest more people in Krishna consciousness. So, perhaps we will have a Grand Shopping Mall next, and it will be called "Shop of India World".

Wow.... where does it end?

When you mix cultures up too much, it destroys the genuine purity of the culture itself. Who can tell anymore what things here in America come from what culture? The "great melting pot" has melted it all into one big puddle.

It's like a picture, a painting. I start out with nice colors, a few, and then I keep adding more and more, then I decide it would appeal to More People if I sprinkle some glitter on it, then maybe I think about the people who like lights, so I string some lights around it. Oh, I forgot those who like natural things! Better paste a few leaves somewhere on it, and a few dried flowers. Wait! What about the young people who like neon things? So, I add some neon colors to it.

What have I got in the end?

A mess, a mass of confusion that has lost it's integrity and it's original value.

This is what's happening now, everyone wants to make sure "everyone and everything" is included. Building that "house the whole world can live it"......

The house is so full of so many different things, you can't even see the house anymore, it's walls have expanded to include so much of everything. A little of this, a little of that, you name it, if someone else likes it or it appeals to them, we'll find a way to "fit it in" to Krishna consciousness.

That goes for Indian/Hindu things, as well as New Age things, American things, Vedic things, whatever. The biggest things that are getting in the way are:

Indian/Hindu Things ~ Krishna is NOT a Hindu God! We are not trying to become Hindu, or Indian. Indian things are not sacred or spiritual in and of themselves, just because they originated in India.

New Age Things ~ New Age things have their place and value, but they will not make you Krishna conscious.

Religious Things ~ Thinking that we have effectively established Varnashram Dharma, and therefore teaching people that they should act in "religious ways" is a disservice. If you tell someone to worship and obey their parents, but their parents, while they may be "nice people" (from whatever country) don't understand the purpose of life, (becoming Krishna conscious) then you are in fact telling that young person to waste their life.

Mixed Messages are Dangerous.

When you "mix" in too much "culture" with Krishna consciousness, people can't tell the difference.

Not only that, it really loses it's attraction.

***

Speaking of Flat Earth...

2008-12-09T02:30:00.000-08:00

Interesting. The other day I made a post here saying "some people still think the Earth is flat"

There's a random question option in the profile view here. They give you a question and then you answer it, and it stays in your profile till you change it. Today, I decided to change it and get a new one.... guess what question came up?

This one:

What reason do you have to believe the earth is flat?

And here's my answer:

Everyone else tells me it is.

~
Krishna works in mysterious ways.
(well, He reminded me of something important that I was forgetting)
*

Srila Prabhupada

2008-12-08T05:34:00.000-08:00

An excerpt from another letter to another friend, we've been discussing the importance of name and reputation.

~ ~ ~

About this:

"If Srila Prabhupada wouldn't have an impeccable reputation, would you
have listened to him and taken to him as your spiritual master back
then..."

Actually, when I met Srila Prabhupada, when I was 14, and decided to follow him, totally, I did not know a single thing about his reputation, or character.

In fact, as far as my understanding, based on my "good reputable upstanding, D.A.R., Christian, Church class teaching", extended family, he was totally disreputable.

According to all the understandings I had grown up with, known, and been exposed to he was a "filthy Indian derelict beggar, come into our good clean Christian country, to take our money, and steal our youth, like he stole me".

(In fact, my Grandmother, who I adored most in life, due to her impeccable qualities, incredible reputation, numerous awards, and commendations, and recommendations, her spotless home, always decorated with the best floral arrangements, grown in her own garden, and who taught Sunday school class at the church, and held all the meetings for the local women, (and a few personal things also) decided to pronounce me "DEAD" and refused to even have any photos of me, told her friends I was dead, etc.... all because of following this "degraded derelict Indian refugee, here to take our Good American Things".)

When I took formal initiation, that was formal, yes, but I had already given him my heart, and my life, from the first time I met him.

It had nothing to do whatsoever with any reputation or name, or any other "qualification" of his.

It was based solely one what he was teaching me about Krishna, what he said in his books, what he taught, and also, the person that he was when I met him.

Meeting him in person was like the final straw, because he exuded such spiritual potency, it matched every single other thing he said in his books, and that I also heard in his recorded voice before I met him.

Check Mate.
Stale Mate?
: )
Case in point. Exactly.

Hope you are well today,
Hare Krishna,
Navasi

*Footnote: Re-reading this today, I need to add something. I was discussing the importance of reputation with this person, as regarded Srila Prabhupada and myself. However, upon thinking more about this, and re-reading this, I really have to say that there is a key ingredient missing here.

The main thing, was that I LOVED Srila Prabhupada. When I met him, I loved him.
That's the missing ingredient.

I loved him. I didn't even know then what that love meant I would need to do, it didn't matter. I loved him, so I learned, and am still learning, but I have always loved him.

*

Kali Yuga Cow Care

2008-12-08T02:21:00.000-08:00

This is an excerpt from a letter I sent to a friend of mine recently. He was asking me to give him some strength because people are taking advantage of him, and he feels obligated to provide what they are asking. Thus, interfering with his spiritual advancement, since their requests are for material things. He's also suffered a lot because of devotees making demands for money, time, etc.. that he is not able to give.
~

"It's a dog eat dog world. People will in fact take whatever you give and then when they are done with you, and can find no more use for you, they throw you away. You are only as valuable as what you "provide, or will provide in the future" as far as their vision of you.

There are those devotees who are exceptions to this of course, but like you have seen, even that, we are all still conditioned souls, so not all devotees are free of such conditioning to take and not give.

What I think of is how in Kali Yuga, people are very much interested to take the milk of the cow, but they have no interest in giving the cow kindness, love, shelter, protection, or any of the things the cow needs. Then, if she fails to produce milk in sufficient quantities, they kill her, or allow her to die."

~

It's true. In Kali Yuga, people only want what the cow produces, and care nothing at all for the cow itself.

*
What I think of is how in Kali Yuga, people are very much interested to take the milk of the cow, but they have no interest in giving the cow kindness, love, shelter, protection, or any of the things the cow needs. Then, if she fails to produce milk in sufficient quantities, they kill her, or allow her to die."
*

What I think of is how in Kali Yuga, people are very much interested to take the milk of the cow, but they have no interest in giving the cow kindness, love, shelter, protection, or any of the things the cow needs. Then, if she fails to produce milk in sufficient quantities, they kill her, or allow her to die."
*

Can't be said enough times, it's one of the most violent things done in Kali Yuga.
*

Timing

2008-12-07T12:58:00.000-08:00

*
Quiet,

like a will-o-wisp

this moment, waiting.

Stillness

in the tension - a holding point

before the break

of

dawn.

Deep down, the lion waits

watching...

observing the prey.

Crackles of underbrush

glazed heated air

whisked across

the fog

of

breath.

*

Navasi 12/7/08

Patience Is A Golden Virtue

2008-12-07T01:46:00.000-08:00

I learned a lot of wonderful lessons from my first husband, Badrinarayan das prabhu.

I married him when I was only 16 years old. There had been some problems with the temple president (who was later removed from his post by the order of Srila Prabhupada) and myself.

Because of this, the higher authorities (GBC, senior devotees, etc.) suggested that it would be a good idea for me to get married, for protection, so this did not happen to me again.

Badrinarayan prabhu was the most serious, sincere devotee in the temple at that time. He never talked prajalpa, he was always reading Krishna book at night, instead of standing around gossiping in the hallway like most of the other devotees were doing.

He was one of the first devotees in the movement to propagate Tulasi Devi, and he had created a large greenhouse of Tulasi in the Detroit temple. I was his assistant. Though he was a brahmachari, and very strict, still we worked together, peacefully.

The atmosphere in the Tulasi greenhouse was very spiritual, and because we were with Srimati Tulasi Devi, it was even more important that we only talk about Krishna, because that is what pleases her. So, we did.

When he told me he wanted to marry me, I was not sure this was a good idea, I did not feel we were very compatible on the material level. However, the most important thing to me was my spiritual life.

That compatibility problem became a bigger issue than I realized at the time, so we separated eventually.

Just because you are not materially compatible with someone, it does not mean that they do not benefit your spiritual life. I look back now and see all the incredible and valuable lessons I learned from this sincere great disciple of Srila Prabhupada.

One thing I learned was this:

"Patience is A Golden Virtue"

He said it to me constantly. About everything. Anyone who knows Badrinarayan, will also know the he is a huge comedian. Yes, he jokes all the time, has an incredible sarcastic wit, and always will say the sharpest things, cutting through the "cow dung" as it were......

So, no matter what emergency I thought I had, I still heard "patience is a golden virtue".... now where does that come from? Scripture? Did Prabhupada say it? No, I think it comes from the Bible....

(people can get so uptight about only using quotes from Prabhupada or only quoting our scriptures.... come on, a truth is a truth is a truth)

Patience is in fact one of the most valuable things any of us can learn when it comes to spiritual life. Not only about our own advancement, but also about any project we are doing for Krishna, any service, any Thing at all.

Patience.

If it doesn't work, back off, and give Krishna a chance to Unfold His Plans. Sometimes it's easy to forget this, and try to Force Things that we think need to be done.

When I start to do this, I hear this in my mind, this saying:

"Patience Is A Golden Virtue"

Then I remember to:

"Be Still And Know That I Am God"

(another Bible verse)

Hare Krishna.

Obeisances to Badrinarayan das prabhu, and many thanks for all the wonderful lessons he taught me.

Hare Rama

*
(in case anyone reading this could become confused, that is God speaking to us, telling us to be still, and know that He is God, taken out of context, it might make some people think that it's saying to know that we are God)

One Life

2008-12-05T12:51:00.000-08:00

People sometimes criticize those who say "well, you only have one life, better make the most of it" because we know about reincarnation.

Yes, we're eternal, and we're going to continue to have life after this one. Somewhere, somehow.

The problem with thinking about how many lives we have is we forget the value of this one.

There is only one of "this life" we now have. There is never going to be another "this life".

We are very fortunate to have been given the chance to serve Srila Prabhupada, in this life, to know Krishna, in this life.

When you only focus on this one life, and forget about all the others you'll have later, then things get much clearer.

Someone told me that they couldn't understand what I meant when I say "be genuine, be true to yourself".

What's so difficult about that?

It means, if you look in your heart, you Know what's right. Act on it. Take it seriously.

Since there is only this one life, we'd better make it count, and be living it in the truest way possible.

I'm glad that's not confusing to me. It's sad to me that it confuses others.

*

Realized Knowledge

2008-12-01T12:47:00.000-08:00

*
Realized knowledge is always far more practical, useful and encompassing than "acquired information".

*

Grey Areas

2008-12-01T03:50:00.000-08:00

I've been really disturbed lately by all the "grey areas" that I see in the movement these days.

Therefore, I've been working really hard on clearing out grey areas from my life and my consciousness.

The problem I'm having is that grey areas are so insidious. Just when I think I've removed them all, I find more to remove. I guess they are like Maya is, insidious and ever-more sublte. In fact, I think it would be quite realistic to say that grey areas Are Maya.

It's exhausting work, and the conclusion I've come to is that I can't clear them all out. It's just not possible.

If I were to clear out every single grey area, it would really pretty much amount to be being a pure devotee.

I'm not. Not even close.

I guess being perfect, or perfectly pure, is something that's going to take time.

How much can I do at this moment? How much can I do today? How much can I do tomorrow?

Those are the kinds of questions I'm asking myself, the things I'm searching.

I'm also asking "how much is enough for now" because I really don't know. Perfection is unrealistic, and fanaticism doesn't work in the long run.

It's very humbling always to realize how many ways, in how many things, I fall short of the incredibly strict standards that Srila Prabhupad gave all of us.

It seems now days that things like "attend morning and evening programs at the temple" are considered "optional". Meaning, if you can, that's great, but if you can't that's fine too.

Maybe that's okay for others, or okay for some, but I know what the standard is that was set by Srila Prabhupad. Since I'm his disciple, then that is the standard I have to measure myself by, not by what anyone else is using for their standard.

I think since my home is my temple, then it would be fine to have a morning program and evening program at home. (a complete program the way he prescribed it I mean) How in the world would I do that and also do the other things I have to do? It seems completely impossible.

I guess, like I said before in my blog about "The Essentials", if you know it's essential, really know it's essential, then you find a way to do it.

I don't know what's essential anymore.

It's not only new devotees who have become confused and lost because of all the grey areas that exist now, it's the older devotees too.

At least this one.

The Power Of Krishna's Name

2008-11-28T00:16:00.000-08:00

The Power Of Krishna's Name

āpannaḥ saḿsṛtiḿ ghorāḿ

yan-nāma vivaśo gṛṇan

tataḥ sadyo vimucyeta

yad bibheti svayaḿ bhayam

SYNONYMS

āpannaḥ — being entangled; saḿsṛtim — in the hurdle of birth and death; ghorām — too complicated; yat — what; nāma — the absolute name; vivaśaḥ — unconsciously; gṛṇan — chanting; tataḥ — from that; sadyaḥ — at once; vimucyeta — gets freedom; yat — that which; bibheti — fears; svayam — personally; bhayam — fear itself.

TRANSLATION

Living beings who are entangled in the complicated meshes of birth and death can be freed immediately by even unconsciously chanting the holy name of Kṛṣṇa, which is feared by fear personified.

PURPORT

Vāsudeva, or Lord Kṛṣṇa, the Absolute Personality of Godhead, is the supreme controller of everything.

There is no one in creation who is not afraid of the rage of the Almighty.

Great asuras like Rāvaṇa, Hiraṇyakaśipu, Kaḿsa, and others who were very powerful living entities were all killed by the Personality of Godhead.

And the almighty Vāsudeva has empowered His name with the powers of His personal Self.

Everything is related to Him, and everything has its identity in Him.

It is stated herein that the name of Kṛṣṇa is feared even by fear personified.

This indicates that the name of Kṛṣṇa is nondifferent from Kṛṣṇa.

Therefore, the name of Kṛṣṇa is as powerful as Lord Kṛṣṇa Himself.

There is no difference at all.

Anyone, therefore, can take advantage of the holy names of Lord Śrī Kṛṣṇa even in the midst of greatest dangers.

The transcendental name of Kṛṣṇa, even though uttered unconsciously or by force of circumstances, can help one obtain freedom from the hurdle of birth and death.

Srimad Bhagavatam 1.1.14

Working On Progress

2008-11-26T01:34:00.000-08:00

*
Pain finds Solace

and

Solace finds Pain

*

I am very grateful to discover that I am still a work in progress.

Maybe there really is hope for me, and some chance that I might somehow learn how to be a devotee and serve Srila Prabhupad.

Maybe.
*

Thinking Of Krishna

2008-11-25T09:37:00.000-08:00

It's strange how many people really don't understand that the whole entire meaning of "Krishna consciousness" is to be absorbed in thoughts of Krishna.

Not thoughts of "things somehow related to Krishna".

I guess with a little understanding, we can see that actually Every Thing is related to Krishna.

Why do we need to immerse ourselves particularly in Indian "things related to Krishna" when the entire creation, and everyone in it is "related to Krishna".

I know when you don't yet see that, it helps to have things that remind you of Krishna.

When you start worshiping those things, and thinking of those "things", and being absorbed in those things, rather than Krishna Himself, then the those things have actually become:

An Obstacle

to

Krishna

(consciousness)

The Power Of Krishna's Name

2008-11-25T00:21:00.000-08:00